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Just to Finish Things off: Battle of the Five Armies

It isn't one continual battle, but it feels like it is. And those individual battles go on and on and on and on.

At least Richard Armitage gets to show some acting chops, but in the main this is so effects heavy it is almost Michael Bay-ish in places. And so doom laden that, to be quite frank, when Billy Connolly's Dain made his entrance he had us commenting, "Now that's my idea of a Dwarf!"

The fight in Dol Guldur was, to put it frankly, hilariously bad. So was Orlando Bloom.

Smaug's death was wasted.

And what the heck happened to the fifth army? I must have blinked and missed them.

Look, Peter J, if you want to remake Tremors go get the rights.

Is that the entire justification of the inclusion of Radagast? Because if so, he wasn't at all necessary. And this demeans Eagles, who in both 'The Hobbit' and 'LotR' do not need a wizard to decide what they ought to do.

I liked the goats, though.

And Bilbo was a bright spot.

Ina commented, at the end, "Why don't we watch LotR again now." Well, it will take the bad taste out of my mouth.

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Agreed 100%! The whole endeavor was such a horrific disappointment.

And I was so looking forward to it...

Everybody likes the battle-goats.

And we - my family and I - have derived a lot of humour with Thranduil's apparent moose obsession.

I keep imagining the size of the stable doors that beast of Thranduil's needs! Not to mention how it manages to make its way through any close-grown forest. (And is it supposed to be an Irish Elk (which is now more correctly known as a Giant Deer) or a mutated version of the European Elk (pretty much the same as the American Moose, though I think they are now regarded as sub-species but I am determined to stick to Elk) or what? I'm not sure it's not there just for the moment when it has a dozen or so Orcs festooned from its antlers.

I'd forgotten that bit. Now I want a battle-moose, too.

And it's definitely a moose - "elk" is entirely too sensible a word.

I haven't seen the movie (gave up with part 2), but that just makes me think of a Peter Jackson-sized Thidwick.

Edited at 2015-05-12 05:29 pm (UTC)

Or something out of Elfquest, though I seem to recall that the big deer in there were more like American Elks (the confusion arises because the first settlers named the first big deer they saw an 'Elk', little knowing, at that point, that there there were also close relatives of Alces alces the European Elk, which when they encountered they used the native name of Moose.

I presumed it was meant to be a megaceros.

Well, yes. As I said, the Irish Elk or Giant Deer. Megaloceros giganteus. Considered not to be related to Alces nowadays, but who knows.

Agreed 100%! The whole endeavor was such a horrific disappointment.

By my reckoning, this was the only one of the Hobbit movies that was less fun than the Lord Of The Rings movies, but in both trilogies I felt that the first movie showed a lot of promise, the middle movie was boring and the last movie was one interminable battle scene. Oh, and in both trilogies the second movie ends in the wrong place.

I adore the LotR movies, though I actually think The Two Towers is strongest, and I am not keen on the theatrical edit of Return of the King. My other main quarrel with Return of the King is the Army of the Dead, in which Jackson gives in to his zombie fixation...

The Two Towers was my favourite of the books and I didn't like how the movie turned the defeat of Wormtongue by gaining the support of the king of Rohan into an exorcism. Saruman and Wormtongue's powers both rely on influence through words and it's embarrassing that "The Avengers" did a better job of portraying that sort of thing with Loki than the Lord of the Rings movies ever manage.

But overall I don't hate the Lord of the Rings movies. I'm just a bit 'meh' about all of them. And it's frustrating, because with both trilogies I was really surprised by the first one. (Particularly in the case of Lord of the Rings. They took the extremely slow and boring first book and made it seem exciting.)

The Tor.com blog had a post a few months ago about someone who created a four-hour edit of the entire Hobbit, cutting out all the appendix-related bits, and I'm not sure what else.

It got taken down quickly for copyright issues, but I downloaded it while it was still available. One of these days I plan to actually get around to watching it. I suspect it will be much more to my taste.

Someone said they'd seen it, or a review of it, which suggested they'd had to leave too much of Jackson's additions in the make sense. There are some great scenes in there, but there's also so much tosh that it's difficult to ignore. And Jackson releases 'extended editions!'

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