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To Whom It May Concern
Flash
lil_shepherd
I can respect and like you as a person without respecting your beliefs.

And your politics.

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There is a lot more to disagree about then just beliefs & politics though. One has to agree on an awfull lot to fully respect another person as they do have to earn it.

I agree, Chad, particularly on your (implied) definition of 'respect'. What I consider 'respect' has to be earned.

However, the word is used widely to mean "don't contradict me, because I/other people might be offended."

I've encountered this several times recently, both in respect of religion and politics. What particularly annoyed me was the idea that if a nebulous 'other people' might be offended by a sincerely held opinion, then the person who holds that opinion ought to keep their mouth shut.



Edited at 2010-05-09 06:25 pm (UTC)

I've heard that too. It's not the traditional use of the word 'Respect' that I grew up with. Don't or Not Agree is what should be sustituted in to the modern use.

Eg. A young person may say, "Are you disrespecting me?". They really should be saying, "Are you disagreeing with me?" or "We have a disagreement here." It trully seems some folk are primed for a confrontational encounter long before thinking a civilized discussion would do.

Yes. And a civilised discussion now seems to mean not saying anything someone might disagree with!

Edited at 2010-05-09 06:51 pm (UTC)

I'm glad I've made most of my friends and aquaintences within SF Fandom. It seems to be the most tollerant group I've ever spent time with.

Yes. Fandom is wonderful, liberal (with a small l) and tolerant in the best sense. It is also a great place to argue ideas.

Which is why, when it isn't, it is such a disappointment.


Edited at 2010-05-09 07:05 pm (UTC)

I don't seem to be a shrinking violet when it comes to voicing my opinion in a good dabate but only if I feel I'm qualified to put I'm my two pennith. Finding some common ground by the end of the discussion is also key in my book.

Note: For some reason, everytime you are replying to one of my posts or comments, two LJ notification e-mails are being sent to my inbox. The second one stating, "Edited Reply" but they both arrive instantaneously. ?!

I'm dreadful about spelling and grammatical errors. I also will edit if I spot them just after I posted the first time.

(NB: Half a bottle of red wine doesn't help. S.)

What red wine did you have? I'm always buying South African these days. I do like the Western Cape varieties.

A Sangiovese di Romagna 2009, to go with pasta and pesto.

Agreed.

People who feel that other people must hold the same political, religious, moral and social views as they do if they are to be friends are ultimately very shallow.

It's not so much holding those views as actually voicing them!

I would say "without agreeing with your beliefs." If people form their beliefs just on the basis of what's popular, and if they express different beliefs depending on whom they're talking with, then I can't respect them or their beliefs. If they're honest about what they believe, then I can respect them and their beliefs without agreeing with their conclusions.

This means I might respect the beliefs of one person and not another, even though they hold the same conclusions, because one arrived at them honestly and the other didn't.

As lapswood was saying above, it also means what is meant by "respect" but, as it happens, I also agree.

What is bugging me is an attitude, encountered several times during the last week or so (as well as during the last few race!fail spats) that you shouldn't say something (and the examples were on open LJ posts, Twitter and Blogs and RL) that might possibly offend or that someone should set aside their own priorities because, in the view of the poster, their own (or their allies/friends) priorities were intrinsically more important.

I'm not known for my empathy, but I don't condemn anyone for holding views radically different from mine, though I don't think anyone should be able to hold unchallenged views. Your politics are vastly different from mine, but I respect both you are your politics, even when I think you are both wrong!

Hell, people challenge mine often enough.


I always respect delusions. It's safer :-)

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