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Joke of the Day
Flash
lil_shepherd
Heard on the Today programme, discussing school mottos and mission statements.

"Investors in People sounds like it should belong to 18th Century slave traders."

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An American friend came to visit a few years ago, and when she saw "Investors in People" proudly displayed on a plaque outside a workplace, she looked really taken aback. The only possible meaning she could see for those words was that the workplace dealt with slave labour - and were proud of it. I've been unable to take the phrase any other way ever since.

The time to leave an organisation is when they start saying their staff are their most important asset. This is because managers are very stupid and once confronted with this statement they discover:
1. Their staff are their biggest cost
2. Staff untilisation is less than 100%
3. Their bonusses depend on the profit created by the staff.
4. If staff raised their utilisation to 100% , the manager would get a bigger bonus.
5. Getting in more work is his job and he can't do that so reducing staff is his only option.

My management has been through the 'Don't get sick phase' and is rapidly moving towards the , 'My failure is all your fault' one.

Running hard to catch up .. reading, "Investors in People is the national standard which sets out a level of good practice for the training and development of people in order to achieve business goals."

It was introduced in the UK in 1991 and, oh, it's an award, thus the plaque outside the workplace. So we should be getting it in Aus around about now, then, hehe *pause* .. just a minute.

Blimey, it's here already.

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